Saturday, 26th January.
Action!!
I slept through my wake-up call this morning. ‘How did I manage that?’ I was frantically thinking to myself as I struggled into my clothes at 8am to try and make the taxi. It wasn’t until I had just finished dressing when I got my wake-up knock on the door. Aaah. They’d forgotten.
It had been a long night. For three nights in a row – last night being no exception – some mad bint had tried to get into my room whilst I was asleep. She had – as her disembodied voice had informed me through the key-hole – been staying in my room previously and kept absent-mindedly returning to it and opening the door. I wouldn’t mind but THREE TIMES! Oh well. I got over it. Eventually. In addition to this - because THIS clearly wasn’t enough, at 6am a family of violent serial killers got up and murdered each other in the room next to mine, just before a psychopathic Santa Claus dragged the body of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer down the corridor passed my room as he left the hotel. Well that’s what it sounded like to me anyway. I had just managed to drift back to sleep when I didn’t get my alarm call didn’t wake me up. I wasn’t in the best of moods.
Roolf (for twas the name of the Dutch chap) and I took a taxi to the border once again. This time it was most definitely open. We checked our bags in for processing and went through the exit visa process. Now it is nearly time for me to explain as to why crossing here is so important. But firstly it is necessary for a little history lesson regarding the land that is now called Israel.
Before the Romans decided to conquer Arabia, the Levant - as historians often Romantically refer to the Mediterranean coast of the Middle East – was a feudal old place. Long had people been battering seven shades of shite out of each other. Many nations had occupied, traded, or integrated with the people of the Levant. We’ve been through the list before but as a brief reminder these were: The Abyssinians, the Phoenicians, the Babylonians, the Nabateans, the Egyptians, and the Palmyrans. They all contributed to the growth of the culture and communities here. This in itself One of the oldest of these peoples were the Jews – or the Hebrews. These tribes were thought to have occupied the land of Judeah some 3 millennia before time of Christ. The Tanakh (the Old Testament) the Jewish Holy Book is a detailed historical reference to the land and to the kings that lived there: to the creation of the world, to the exodus of the people from Egypt to the twelve tribes of Israel and how they divided their land.
With the onset of Pax Romana, and more damningly, Pax Arabia, the Jewish people found themselves in open war with the Romans. Instead of trying their usual legerdemain of assimilating the Jewish people and adopting parts of their religion, the Romans fought them tooth and nail – to borrow a saying. Jerusalem as it was known then, in AD 70, was destroyed and its people exiled, to become the Diaspora, banished to the four corners (ok sorry – points on the globe) of the world. The land was now to become Palestine. Palestine was a modern kinda ancient land. It had all sorts of things going on there. Trade, commerce, pagan sex rituals, Christian worship, a mishmash of religions thrived under Roman rule.
Not all Jews went, however. Many were able to stay in the surrounding lands. A revolt against the occupation of Jerusalem was staged three quarters of a century later, but failed. Although the Jews were allowed to live in the lands, their presence was reduced so considerably, they were unable to amass an army enough to constitute a serious threat to the occupying forces.
During the next few hundred years a remarkable thing was happening in the Roman Empire. Well two things. Firstly, Christianity spread through it like a chemical reaction. The – then comparatively – monotheistic Christ God was being proclaimed throughout the world as it was known. The Roman Empire became Christendom. In addition to this it also fell into decline. Well on a territorial map it did. From a spiritual viewpoint, Christianity was fast becoming the new order. The Church was the new power. Well, with albeit there were – as seems to be customary in these things – differences. Mainly with other Christian sects - such as the Byzantines. Another story. Big one. Re: Byzantium, Constantinople.
This wasn’t really much of a help to the Jewish people. For one thing, the seeds had being sown and the psyche of the Christian world had been mortally offended by the ‘killers of Christ.’ Let’s put aside the evidence for their responsibility in this, the factual turn of events, even the possibility of Jesus Christ not actually existing for a moment, and accept the accusations that were laid, post-humously, against them. They had been singled out to bear the brunt of killing the saviour of mankind in the mind - and indeed the soul - of Christendom; they were, in short, in deep schnitzel.
Then came the time of Islam. There is a great deal to understand about Islamic history and its impact on Christianity and Judaism. But that’s another story; and yes it is a very interesting one. The followers of Mohammed set out from Medina in the early 7th Century and occupied Palestine. They transformed the single most important Jewish site in existence, Kodesh Hakodashim holiest of holies - into a Mosque. The place where the secret word of God was first uttered and the world had been created. The Muslims believed it was the location where Mohammed had ascended into heaven. Differences of opinion ensued. You ever heard of the Wailing Wall? I am sure you have. Do you know why it is called thus though? After Jerusalem fell to the armies of Islam and Temple Mount was converted to a Mosque, the closest point the Jews could get to the shrine was the West Wall that formed the ancient boundaries of the temple itself. So it was here they prayed. And still do. Recently they have excavated a part of the wall even closer under the west wall by the old city. History is amazing when you have time to read it.
At this time the Diaspora were not having much fun themselves. Generations of Christians were being taught to believe the Jews were the murderers of Christ. Have you ever heard of a meme? Memeticists refer to a meme as a unit of reproduction. In the same way genes are replicators for DNA/RNA memes replicate concepts through generations in society. They are transported in vehicles such as narrative, story-telling, books, urban-myths, folk-lore, music and song, art, intellectual property. The medium is variable, often dependent on the age. The purpose is constant. The persecution of the Jewish people was believed, by some, to be started this way. St Melito of Sardis was thought to be one of the chief protagonists in this. Regardless of its origins, it thrived. .
Just shy of a thousand years after the agreed time of the death of Christ and with many factions of the three main religions beginning to branch off, there was a chess game of global proportions beginning to be played, between Christendom and Islam. The religion of Islam had grown on rate even more extensive than Christianity and was even more bellicose – until now. The Church had long been pricked by the loss of much of the holy land – Jerusalem also – to the Muslims. I have been meaning to have a rant about the Reconquista (the Crusades) properly and I will do. But I am getting off the main track here. Let’s move on quickly. The Crusaders recaptured Jerusalem and most of the Levant. Unfortunately they also hated the Jews and massacred them with a malice usually reserved for traffic wardens. Over the next 300 years Christians and Muslims struggled for control of the Holy Land. Each with equal passion. Each vying for there religious stronghold. Each with God on their side. The Jewish people were disbanded, loathed, and stuck in the middle. Desperately clinging on to some vestige of the place they had once called their Holiest of Holies. Fair? Who said a nation’s life was fair? Then Arabia fell to the Ottoman Empire and Muslim control reigned absolute for over four hundred years.
Sorry for the history lesson. It is a precursor. A necessary one. And the beginning of a question. One which I’ll form in time. And one that you are going to have to think about carefully. But for now lettuce skip forward to the 19th Century.
Change was sweeping the face of the then modern world. The zeitgeist that blew through it carried whispers of science and reason. Darwin, Newton, Faraday, and Laviosier had made their mark. The grip of religion was slowly fading. Folklore and myth were being replaced by enlightenment. The Jewish people were no longer being persecuted as openly as they had been for centuries on account of religion. Aye, now was the age of science and reason. But they weren’t off the hook. In parallel the neo- concepts of secular anti-Semitism was also emerging. The psyche of the west still coveted its pound of Jewish flesh; even if it was growing into adolescence.
Jewish people were beginning to return to Palestine, many of them being forced to flee from the cognoscente of Eastern Europe. The population of Jews in the Holy Land was again increasing. Eretz-Israel was created in Palestine. Zionism was created: The idea that Jewish people had a divine right to occupy the land of Palestine: of Israel. Based on what evidence? On the Tanakh. You remember. The Jewish old testament. Well you have to admit. It is pretty old.
Ok. So here we are at the end of the nineteenth century and I haven’t got to the border crossing yet. Sorry about that. Bear with me just a little longer.
The Zionist movement roused more than a little suspicion in the Ottoman Empire and rightly so, however they were becoming a little preoccupied by the central powers of Europe at that time. The Great War was beginning and it was going to be bad. Really, really, bad. The need to reoccupy the Jewish people was becoming a concern for many countries in the western world. Where to put them was the burning issue? Where indeed? The Jews themselves had their own ideas about this issue and were fleeing the growing adolescent mind of Europe. Fleeing to Palestine. At the end of the Great War the borders of the lands of the Levant were redrawn once more. Palestine became a separate land. Lebanon – a French protectorate – was created in the north. In the south, Palestine kept its namesake and became part of the decaying British Empire. The increasing number of Jewish émigrés returning to the Levant was beginning to piss local inhabitants off. Particularly the Palestinians.
Change was in the air though. A sirocco wind blew from Africa, taking with it the French overseers, just as surely as it had recently removed the Ottoman ones. Syria was liberated. The Arabs stood on their own. Kind of. Jewish people in the Levant slowly began to buy up land. They had a plan, and they wanted to reclaim what was theirs. Palestine was still under British mandate though. And the British were aware of what was going on. So aware in fact they placed restrictions on immigration laws into Palestine. Big ones. This had an opt out clause if you were rich though. Some Jewish people were able to exploit this. Many weren’t. And other things were happening in Europe. The plot was sickening. Hitler had ideas, and the mind of the adolescent world wanted to punish its parents.
The Second World War ended. Well for the dead it did. The survivors had to make sense of the fresh smell of humanity’s capacity for brutality. The amount of Jewish people returning to Palestine began to reach uncontrollable proportions. So much so, the British slapped further restrictions on immigration. British mandate began to quaver. Not only, but also, the Zionist movement had been augmented and embossed by the atrocities of the Nazis. Jewish people from every country in the world were returning to Palestine with a united mantra, One that was being uttered from every Jewish tongue, resounding and complete: One that was a tautology in the minds of the Diaspora: ‘fuck that’. I don’t blame them.
However, how I do find them culpable is in their behaviour toward the Palestinians. But then, I think, so does the rest of the world.
After World War II the density of the population of Jewish peopled swelled to such a large amount insurgency began to break out. The British began to be openly despised and Jewish people began to more and more dispute the reason for these people in their land. Violence followed. British forces were attacked. The Jewish people wanted the
British to leave. The Arabs wanted them to restore some sense of balance. Being unable to manage or cope with the situation the British handed over control to the newly created UN. These days - and I mean no malice when I say this - this action was apropos to a cop out. And The weaker minority was in trouble. In this case it was the Palestinians.
Seven hundred and fifty thousand people were dispossessed during the next three years (from the end of world war II). Britian washed its hands (much like Pontious Pilate had done centuries before) and buggered off by 1949.
Ok. Sorry. God the waffles. God the bacon. God the eggs [I wonder if I have told anyone recently I now eat omelettes. What a transgression against oology. Spanish ones are pretty good though J] moving onwards, quickly now, or I’ll never get across this bridge!
The declaration of the state of Israel was met by some nations with a little animosity. Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Iraq went bonkers. War ensued. The Israelis, as I have said, were still chanting the mantra resounding from of the culmination of two thousands years of global enmity, recently aimed right at them – ‘fuck that’ – once more.
The war lasted nearly a year. During which time the Israelis spanked the arses off their Arab neighbours. The end of this altercation resulted in the recognition of independence of the state of Israel by the US, Russia, and Britain. They were here to stay.
The narrative of the next thirty years is vicious. It involves a lot of bloodshed. It also involves the Palestine Liberation Organisation (PLO), the Camp David agreement, the invasion of Lebanon, The creation of UN resolution 262 – a resolution Israel has systematically ignored – two intifadas, the annexation of the West Bank, and of the Gaza Strip. The peace treaty with Jordan, the wars with Syria, the war with Egypt. Peace with Egypt. The bombings from Iraq. The pleas from the world to stop the invasion of Lebanon. It has been a long 50 years. If I stop to tell you it in detail, I’ll be going on all day. Read about it. Please.
The point of this story is this. The nation of Israel, was created at the price of the Palestianians who lived there. They became the Diaspora, and were forced to leave their homes. Homes some people still have keys to. That they can never return to. The occupied territories have left these people with lives in permanent camps that were only supposed to be a temporary solution. There are walls built through Jerusalem: Sharon’s solution to the refusal of Hezbollah to relinquish control without a fight. Violence is still raging in the Holy Land, just as it has been for two thousand years. Nothing like religion to help calm an argument. As for the question I have been framing – It is this. Is it is fair what the Israeli people did to the Palestinians? Fair – who said a nation’s life was fair. Indeed. This begs one further question then. Given what the Jewish people were forced to suffer at the hand of a lunatic, would you expect them to have more compassion and understanding. I guess not. We become the monster so the monster doesn’t break us.
Back to 2008.
The League of Arab Nations does not like Israel very much. In fact on the question form for my Syrian Visa I was asked the question: Have you been, or do you ever intend to visit, the occupied territories of Palestine? They still will not recognise Israel as a country. And if they have the slightest inkling you’ve been there or plan to visit you are immediately blacklisted from these countries. That poses a bit of a problem if you wish to visit Israel and then go on to visit any countries in the league. Israel is aware of this, as is Jordan.
Enter the King Hussein bridge.
The story, or so I was told, goes like this: Travellers crossing at the King Hussein bridge can obtain a visa exit stamp from Jordan on a piece of paper. They can then obtain an entry stamp to Israel also on a piece of paper. As long as they get their passport stamped with their Israeli exit visa on the same piece of paper. Nobody is the wiser. However this was entirely at the discretion of the official doing the stamping. I decided I’d give it a go. If it all went Pete Tong I could just come back again, again.
It turned out to be a pretty straightforward crossing. We teamed up with a group of Japanese girls and we all crossed together. When we got to the Israeli side security was ramped up a bit. We had to have all sorts of bag checks and form checks. We finally got to immigration and queued for our visas. In Israel everyone has to do 3 years of National Service from eighteen to twenty-one. It was quite weird having my visa form processed by an eighteen year old female soldier. She didn’t bat an eyelid when I asked for my visa on a piece of paper. She did ask me as to why though.
We then had to wait – for security checks I guessed – for an hour. We got chatting to a lovely family from the West Bank. They invited us to pop and see them and I promised them I’d try. We were cleared by our security checks and we then had our visas processed – by the same girl again. I think she was cute on Roolf. And so I entered Israel via the West Bank. We jumped in a shared taxi to Jerusalem. The weather was pretty crappy and it was raining as we got to the city. I was to excited to care though. Jerusalem. One of the holiest cities in the world! It was awesome.
I said goodbye to Roolf as he was pre-checked into a hotel. I tried a few Lonely Planet suggestions but all they had was Dorm rooms. I hunted around for quite a while, still not well, in the rain. It took me an hour to find somewhere. I finally managed it and dropped my stuff in. I then had to get some money. And food. I was starving.
… I am wondering through the Jewish quarter of the old city in Jerusalem. I have been trying to find an ATM for the last hour. I keep asking people and they give me directions to ATMs that just don’t exist. I finally stumble on one. It’s out of order. Well yes, it is very out of order, but that doesn’t help much. I am dead on my feet and I am going to have to give up here. A figure suddenly comes out of the twilight towards me, He is a Jewish Rabbi. “Shalom!” he greets me.
“Shalom” I reply.
“Are you Jewish?” He enquires.
“No, I am not.” I reply.
“Do you know today is Shabbat?”
“Yes.” I did know that.
“Magical things will happen tonight, there will be light raining down on Jerusalem and you will feel it everywhere.” And with that statement uttered, he heads off into the night. The chance has encounter cheered me up immensely. I still have no money though. And I am now Hank Marvin…
I headed out into the night - got my bearings, some cash, and some food - before coming back and having a hot shower and I spent the evening watching TV. This, for me, is a luxury.
arms and spirit. Gone are the fleeces, jumpers, thermals, socks, hiking boots, and pashmina scarves. They have been banished to the bottom of our rucksacks along with our long sleeved tops. The shorts are out. I have been shopping and I am now sporting a sleeveless red singlet with the 
Italian (and serving it well), clothes stores, material shops, tailors, Yoga centres, barbers, massage clinics, and internet cafes – amidst this menagerie is where you find us.
mes every day. Breakfast is usually around 
